A DEFINITIVE answer has been sought by authorities over the continued presence of highly questionable and routinely awful haircuts belonging to the heads of hairdressers and barbers up and down the country, WWN can reveal.
The Association of Irish Hair Owners have set about conducting extensive research and interviews with the country’s hairdressers with the hoped result being a clear and understandable explanation for their customers and thus a reduction in the anxiety experienced by people who have their hair cut by someone who has a rat’s hair on their head.
“We just want answers but we’re out here judging anyone. It’s confusing for the average person getting their hair cut, they leave with this incredible new do which gets a raft of glowing compliments from their friends and family but it was done by someone who has a nice fringe but random shave in bald spots,” explained one concerned hair owner.
Local hairdressers famed for their ability to hold conversation with anyone for up to 19 hours, are now being recognised for their seeming inability to own a haircut that doesn’t look like a car crash abandoned halfway through collision.
“We’d just hate to think we’re here getting decent haircuts but it’s all at the expense of hairdresser’s own hair. Do they not have time to properly get their hair seen to? Do they close their eyes when giving themselves a hair cut? We just want to help if we can,” they added, visibly concerned for Ireland’s hairdressers.
One hairdressers defended herself and her peers after learning of the inquiries being made by the general public.
“It’s part balayage, part vomit rainbow, half of it is a perm, the other half is shaved completely and then I’ve glued diamond beads on my head. This is no accident, this looks exactly the way I want it to, so you can all stop worrying,” confirmed hairdresser Lorna Feetly, who if anything made the public more concerned for hairdressers.