Local Man’s House Now 80% Extension Cords

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A WATERFORD family have tearfully pleaded with their father to stop decorating their house with festive illuminations, as the 3-bedroom Dungarvan home is now almost completely filled with trailing sockets, leads, wires, cables and junction boxes, making passage from one room to the next almost impossible.

The Warren family have spent the last week getting squeezed more and more into tighter spaces as their father continues to lace the outside of the house with light-up snowmen and miles of LED bulbs, with extension cords hooked up to every outlet in the house, leading on to even more extension cords.

Keith Warren, 43, has dismissed claims that he’s ‘overdone it’ this year, and stresses that there’s still plenty of room to get around the home if you suck in your stomach a bit, but went on to urge his eldest son to ‘get the fuck away’ from a four-gang trailing socket that was pretty much powering the whole place.

“If you need to charge your phone, do it in January,” said Keith, unplugging the TV so that he could add a double adaptor and power two more blow-up Santys.

“Until then, keep an eye out in the hall when you’re going upstairs because I have the lead there that powers the three leads that go outside, so mind yourself when you’re crossing the carpet… and also, I appreciate that it’s winter and it’s a bit nippy, but leave the top two windows open, I have cables to go through them too”.

Satisfied with the amount of lights on the house for now, Mr. Warren will turn his attention to inserting 874 AA batteries into various ornaments and trinkets around the house, and should be finished decorating by the 27th of December.

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