WATERFORD native Kenneth Farraher has reluctantly completed his mandatory annual watch of festive favourite Love, Actually with his wife Marie, during which time he mocked and derided most of the movie’s soppy love stories; apart from the scene where Emma Thompson finds out Alan Rickman was cheating on her and she went up to her room and cried because she didn’t deserve that, damn it, she didn’t deserve that.
Farraher, 34, has had to suffer through a watch of the 2003 rom-com with his then-girlfriend, now-wife Marie for the past ten years, and manages to maintain a gruff ‘can’t-be-bothered-with-this-shit’ demeanour throughout the interlacing stories of love and loss between wealthy famous English people over the course of 135 minutes, chipping in with comments about how the lad from The Walking Dead is ‘a sneaky cunt’ for hitting on his friend’s wife like that.
However, Farraher’s demeanour all changes when Karen, played by Emma Thompson, receives a gift from her husband Harry, played by Hans Gruber, which is a tell-tale sign that he has been having an affair behind her back, prompting the Waterford man to excuse himself to the kitchen to “make tea” and have a bit of a sob.
“Just… just how she knows she has to hold it together for the sake of her kids at Christmas,” sobbed Farraher, pretending to look for crisps in the kitchen until the redness of his eyes dies down.
“And Harry, fucking prick, he hasn’t a clue that she knows everything now, and that he’s been caught… how could someone be so clueless? How could someone be so cruel, to the mother of their children? At Christmas? And for what, some bit of strange in the office? Harry, how could you do this? I’ll tell you one thing Emma Thompson, you’re better off without him!”
Farraher went on to compose himself before heading back in to catch the finale of the movie, where he could cover up his tender side with a series of jokes about how Liam Neeson’s son should have been shot while running through airport security in a post-9/11 world.