5 Ways Women Are Celebrating The Dáil Passing Abortion Legislation

WOMEN up and down the country are finding quiet, ebullient, reserved, loud, respectful, joyous, deferential and buoyant ways to mark the passing of abortion legislation through the Dáil despite ‘Pro-Life’ TDs pointing out that some people voted No in a referendum that passed with 67% (841,233) of the electorate voting to repeal the 8th amendment.

The criticism of people finding something to celebrate in the next stage of the legislative process being completed is well founded after WWN uncovered the many scandalous ways women are choosing to mark the occasion.

Not a publication to needlessly stoke tensions for our own monetary gain, WWN presents just five of the countless ways wanton women and garrulous girls are clearly not fully comprehending what their tiny and febrile minds did when voting last May without adequately consulting men first.

Read on and weep for we are headed into a horridly equal sounding future:

1) Women have been seen gathering around caldrons and cackling loudly. They do this while stirring the caldron vigorously between throwing in an eye of newt and toe of frog.

2) Selling out Croke Park, women are staging a week long orgy and drugs festival with famously out of control woman Madonna headlining. If that didn’t shock you enough there may be some rapping too.

3) The first of many ritualistic sacrifices of innocent and Godly Catholic men has already taken place. One virginal man by the name of Ronan, born via immaculate conception, was their first victim.

4) Every last one of the women we observed were caught laughing manically uninterrupted for 17 hours before declaring ‘next step, murdering all old people’.

5) Some women aren’t even celebrating which is perhaps more sinister. Some are closely monitoring all proceedings related to the legislation, contacting their local TDs to ensure the laws are fit for purpose, and working against the push by No campaigners to stifle the laws any way they can. Shocking.