STAR of Manchester United’s late win against Youngs Boys of Switzerland Marouane Fellaini has been sporting a new look in recent days and WWN can reveal for the first time that the good deed the Belgian midfielder/last minute panic striker carried out when shearing his trademark afro.
“They told me not to do it, they talked about Samson losing his power when he lost his hair but I’m still as good as ever at randomly elbowing people in the face multiple times in the build up to a free kick or corner,” confirmed the colossus, who explained he came to the decision to cut his hair due to a profound compassion for the follically challenged.
Fellaini, who’s bouffant hairdo once measured 12 feet high and 18 feet wide, was worked on by a team of 14 hairdressers over a period of 24 hours with a further 100 hair professional then gluing the hair to the scalp of awaiting bald men who were reduced to tears at the kind gesture.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m over the moon,” said one of 10,000 sobbing bald men in the queue, Pep, who had been first in line at 4am that morning, “I’m very successful in my professional life but some things I can’t buy, so this is beautiful”.
Any excess head hair not used will go on to be repurposed in a variety of ways according to one hairdresser who was part of the operation.
“The hair will be used to thatch roofs in the developing world, and some of it will be woven together and stretched out to replace United’s leaky defence for the rest of the season,” hairdresser Alan Bartley explained.