How To Become Less Shy About Your Racism, A Guide

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IRELAND is well on its way to embracing racism on levels similar to other countries where the stench of anti-immigrant sentiment rots away, wafting from town to town, opportunistic politician to opportunistic politician. However, disturbingly it appears many people remain quite shy when it comes to vocalising how much they dislike others based chiefly on the colour of their skin.

Fearful that shy racists may never make the transition to unashamed and unabashed racists, WWN has formulated an easy guide which should help you progress up the ranks all the way to becoming an outspoken and unapologetically horrible person.

1) Start talking and just never stop

Don’t allow for gaps in your rants that could be seized upon by ‘do gooders’ who want to talk about facts. Don’t shy away from raising your voice, continue giving out and not listening to anyone but yourself.

2) Don’t be so precious about things like ‘logic’

If you have an anecdote about how they’re all over here earning €200,000 a year and being given 6 houses each, just go with it, don’t interrogate the fact you’re making no cogent sense. This is Ireland. Don’t let foreigners bring over things like ‘making sense’.

3) Make new friends

Like the sound of some lad in the Journal comment sections talking about how one particular set of people from a non-Ireland country is mentally deficient and has a propensity for committing crimes and raping all manner of things? Why not see if they want to exchange numbers or meet up in public. You could go for a walk together. But a racist’s walk, they call them ‘marches’. They’re great fun, don’t be so shy about it.

4) Protect yourself

When you’re out for your racist walk, some people might attempt to talk to you so it’s best to bring a baseball bat. The last thing you want when you’re on your walk shouting some disgusting words is for someone to hear you and try to talk to you. Let them know you’d like to be left alone by politely swinging the bat in their direction repeatedly.

5) Wait for Peter Casey to be on the TV again

Don’t worry, it won’t be long before some station will have him on again, and again. Then you and your new friends can talk about doing things that would impress people who tell it like it is. Don’t be shy about how you think the thing that would impress people the most would be a fire. After all, fires are harmless and class.

6) Take credit for it

Oh, not so keen on this part? Fair enough. Baby racist steps.

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