Ryanair Launch Sedation Kits For Child Passengers ​

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BUDGET airline Ryanair is finally launching a range of sedation kits to subdue younger passengers during flights in a bid to eradicate unwanted screaming, horseplay and general disruption during flights.

Welcomed by just about everybody who travels with the airline, the fast-acting kits will come at a cost of €100 euro for two hour doses and €149:99 for 5 hour doses which will render annoying children unconscious, thus making way for a more peaceful, headache free flight.

“About time too,” one passenger boarding a flight from Dublin told WWN, “there’s nothing worse than noisy little shits whinging all the way through your flight about their ears, or kicking the back of your seat in boredom.

“One hundred euro isn’t bad either when you split it between the rest of the passengers – fantastic idea!”

The new kits, which contain one syringe of benzodiazepines, will launch later this month in time for the busy Christmas season, and depending on their success, they may also be rolled out for treating drunk or unruly passengers too.

“If someone is going off on one during the flight, priority passengers will be allowed to buy a similar kit for adults which of course will contain a much stronger dose,” a Ryanair spokesman stated.

Ryanair also confirmed that talkative passengers may also be administered the packs, depending on how chatty they are.

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