Local Woman Masturbates To Thought Of Penneys Homeware Range

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A LOCAL DUBLIN woman’s predilection for hot and steamy thoughts about affordable and stylish homeware which would really transform her apartment and give the place a distinct personality and style, has admitted to vigorously masturbating to the Penneys homeware range when the mood strikes.

“For some people it’s Chris Hemsworth’s abs, for others it’s Cillian Murphy’s steely blue eyes but I get weak at the knees just thinking about Penneys’ throws, their cutesy picture frames, patterned cushions oh, hmmm that gold coloured Pineapple bookends,” confirmed 26-year-old Niamh Heffren.

Heffren was unapologetic when describing what gets her off and regularly climaxes when imagining shopping in Penneys homeware section right after pay day.

“It’s my kink, what can I say,” Heffren shared, her nipples hard just at the thought of bargain after bargain after bargain.

“Have you seen their rainbow lightbox or their classy and understated Lion King stuff? Fuck, yeah that’s it,” Heffren said, now biting her lips.

Heffren is believed to be one of many women who experiment with being turned on by the thoughts of a totally on point homeware collection that really ties a room together, with a near endless supply of affordable trinkets.

“Fuck, trinkets,” Heffren said, her leg quivering the way it always does.

Heffren then made her excuses and left to draw a bath complete with bath bomb (Penneys), scented candles (Penneys) and faux 1960s style stereo bluetooth speaker (Penneys) playing sensual getting down to business music (The Weeknd).

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