Vibrator On A Budget: A Cucumber Taped To A PS4 Controller, We Show You How!

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IT’S not an easy time in life when you need to get your kicks but your weeks away from pay day so the deluxe rampant rabbit is out of the question, and cheaper vibrators can’t be trusted to get the job done.

And after paying the bills, paying for transport, ordering that take away you said you wouldn’t order because the last time you had a take away was the for real very the last time ever, what money is left to splurge on the latest and greatest masturbatory aides? None, that’s how much.

Living to a strict budget can be an awful pain in the arse, but not the sort of ‘yeah, pull my hair just like that’ kinda of pain that you’ve been craving for longer than you care to mention, more the ‘shit, really, broke again?’ sort of pain.

However, with a little bit of creativity and ingenuity a sensible and most importantly, a money saving solution is at hand.

The cost effective solution was once achieved by sitting on top of the washing machine but modern technology has moved to the point where all you need is a cucumber, some cellotape and a PS4 controller that has those ‘shock’ vibration settings. Here’s how to construct your cheap homemade alternative to the vibrator:

1) Buy a cucumber and some cellotape

2) Procure a PS4 controller, if you don’t already own one, steal/borrow it from a friend. Select a game which utilises the vibration option on the DualShock controller, usually a good car racing game. Now cellotape the controller to you cucumber, drive the car into a barrier repeatedly thus activating the realistic impact vibrations and go to town.

It really is an easy at that. Happy masturbating everyone.

Tomorrow we’ll be back with ‘Crisp Packets, A Viable Alternative To A Condom?’

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