SAUDI Arabia has been in the press a lot lately, and for one very important reason… WWE Crown Jewel, the second massive supershow to take place in the Middle East this year.
With a card stacked with most of the wrestling world’s best talent, apart from a few superstars who opted to not go to Saudi Arabia for no particular reason that we can think of, the eyes of the world will be watching to see who gets butchered… in the ring. Here’s our predictions as to who will emerge victorious on the night!
The Bar vs New Day
With the Smackdown tag team championship on the line, this will be one of the highlights of the night. We predict a close fought battle between the two experienced teams, but we fully expect that whatever the outcome, Vince McMahon’s Saudi deal worth 450 million dollars over the next ten years should still be in place, making him a winner regardless of what happens in the ring.
Predicted winner: Vince McMahon
Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman
Another championship match, this time for the WWE Championship. The mens WWE championship that is, as there will be no female wrestlers at the event due to this being, you know, Saudi Arabia, who don’t really like women to be involved in any form of mass entertainment other than public stonings. WWE have made great advances in female wrestling in recent years, and boldly claim to have a roster of women who stand shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts. But ya know, 450 million dollars says no women, so no women.
Predicted winner: A man
DX vs Brothers Of Destruction
Hoo boy, this is the big one. Shaun Michaels coaxed out of retirement after 8 years for one more match. Surely, any nation that would host an event that would attract such star power must be one of the greatest on earth, and certainly not the kind of nation that kills and dismembers journalists or the like. Wrestling is a niche attraction, but it’s still beloved across the world, so fans tuning in to watch Shaun get it on with The Undertaker one more time will be sure to leave with one impression; those Saudi lads sure know how to throw an event! Just when you thought they were down for the three count, in slides the WWE to help them kick out on two!
Winner: The Saudi government