“Live, Laugh, Love” Posts Boring, Miserable, Selfish Bitch

THE well known positive life advice made an appearance on social media accounts belonging to a stridently boring, miserable and selfish local Waterford bitch at around 2pm this afternoon, WWN can exclusively report.

Sharing the maxim without a modicum of irony, Geraldine Boyle (34), a person extremely well known for living out a dull, inconsequential life while taking no time whatsoever to think of anyone but herself, shared a picture of a sunrise with the words ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ emblazoned on it to her Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat accounts.

The statement, believed to be an affirmation of human life and all the positive elements contained within embracing and living life to the full sit in stark contrast to the reality of Boyle’s own existence which has, to date, been marked out by how negative, petty and unremittingly boring she is.

“I’m all about ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ don’t get me wrong but have you ever talked to Geraldine? It’s like pulling teeth, and then if you do get a word out of her, jaysus, she’d drain the blood from your face with the dreary shite she does be saying,” confirmed one neighbour of Boyle’s who was surprised as anyone to see the statement on her social media accounts.

Boyle for her part confirmed to WWN that she was a big fan of the three simple words masquerading as a huge statement of intent when it comes to living life to the fullest.

“Ah yeah, that’s me in a nutshell,” the boring shite explained in a monotone and dispassionate voice while sitting on her couch, munching on digestive biscuits and lifelessly flicking through the channels on her TV.

“Big on living, laughing and loving,” added the ever boring Boyle, who’s last act of kindness stretches back to 2007 when she laughed at a joke her father told even though she didn’t find it funny.

“Big on positivity me,” concluded Boyle before tutting 146 separate times at people who appeared on her TV screen.