THE IRISH senior football team seems to be at a crossroads as Martin O’Neill’s men followed up a disappointing performance against Denmark with an equally disappointing performance against Wales last night.
The 1-0 loss to Ryan Giggs’s side has left many Irish supporters calling for O’Neill to go, but the question remains can you do a better than him? Take our test to find out:
Question: Do you know what a ‘League of Ireland’ is?
A) Look Seamus Coleman is injured.
B) Ah, that talentless void into which the generous FAI donate 30% of John Delaney’s salary to? It sickens me to know it’s out there, existing, surviving, supporting the grass roots.
Question: Do you know how to achieve a shot on target?
A) Look Seamus Coleman is injured. He’s our leader.
B) Shot on target? Hah, with this group of fucking shite players? Dream on, they’re fucking pathetic the lot of them.
Question: Would you be afraid to try the highly dangerous tactic known as ‘trying to win a game’.
A) Look Seamus Coleman is injured. He’s our leader. Cyrus Christie is our Sergio Busquets.
B) Imagine having to pick a squad of 23 players from this useless shower of talentless fools. Why bother. What’s the point in life at all.
Question: O’Neill is famed for his positivity and optimism, is this something you’d bring to the role of Irish manager?
A) Look Seamus Coleman is injured. He’s our leader. Cyrus Christie is our Sergio Busquets. When Seamus is back, there isn’t a team in the world who would want to face us, not with our best player back. He’s our leader.
B) I, like Martin, dream of murdering post-match interview journalists and using their bodies to form an impenetrable wall at our goal line.
Question: Is it time to try and play more attractive football? Football that could see us possibly score a goal and dare we say it, allow fans to actually enjoy watching Ireland play?
A) Listen here you sniveling cunt, Seamus Coleman is injured!
B) 404 Error, attractive not found.
Did you get mostly As? Well done, you have what it takes but Martin O’Neill will be handed a new 6-year deal after a 0-0 friendly with Gilbraltar.
Did you get mostly Bs? Sorry, you’re clearly not a Proper Football Man. You don’t have what it takes, at no point did you mention the importance of leaving a striker up front on his own for 90 minutes while occasionally interrupting his crippling loneliness by kicking a ball as hard as you can at his head.