International Stock Markets Plunge & We’d Explain Why But You’re A Bit Thick

AS INTERNATIONAL stock markets take a hit, a domino effect sparked by a drop on the NASDAQ of 4%, WWNBiz was all ready to draw up a perfectly understandable guide about US government bonds, inflation, interest rates, Turkey and Argentina, bull market and a number of other things but then we realised you’re a bit thick so what’s the point as you clearly won’t get it.

And just to clarify it’s not because economics is such a guessing game that it’s as reliable as a tarot reading from your recently divorced aunt, it’s definitely not because we here at WWNBiz don’t know what we’re talking about. No, the complexities of why the market is down on yesterday just won’t register in that fish bowl you call a brain.

Remember that time you tried to understand derivatives and got so confused you nearly cried a bit? Yeah that certainly wasn’t WWNBiz’s editor. That was so you. WWNBiz has finite resources and can’t be wasting all day writing up an explainer for you knowing full well you’ll give up reading halfway because your brain doesn’t have the power required to comprehend the fact this global sell off has nothing to do with billionaire funds short selling and making money out of an entirely fabricated blip.

The FSTE, the HKSE, the Euronext, the Nikkei, SENSEX, the ASX, all these names are just scaring your delightfully compact and small brain so we won’t go into any huge detail. Once again, this is not because all of this – the global financial markets – rests on a bunch of experts pretending to know more than the next expert who in reality knows nothing.

No, there is a very straightforward and comprehensive way of explaining this situation and how experts can reverse the current trends, but what’s the point in trying to get you to understand, peanut brain.

WWNBiz will provide this one nugget of wisdom that can help you avoid sounding like you don’t know what you’re talking about and simply regurgitate what some economists are saying currently, pick from any of the following and you’ll be fine: “as has been predicted for some time”, “we all saw this coming”, “this will come as a surprise to no one” or “I’m no idea what I’m talking about, I am a fraud”.