AFTER a stunning unveiling of Budget 2019, the government has confirmed that anyone feeling a bit shortchanged by the spending measures outlined should really seriously consider becoming a multi-property owning TD.
“Think of all the tax relief. You might be griping about how the budget doesn’t exactly seem fiscally responsible either, spending wise, but our advice remains – just become a landlord TD,” confirmed one Department of Finance official.
Serious questions about the impending impact of Brexit and how ready the country’s industries are remain with many other people pointing out measures aimed at easing the housing crisis fall well short, however, the government’s advice to the public is to take the 20 cent hike in minimum wage, go back in time and splash out on a series of properties that can now earn you some serious money.
“Have you considered becoming a TD and owning a load of property, it’s great craic,” confirmed one of Dáil Éireann’s many landlord TDs who was using the phone on his calculator to tot up how much better off he was thanks to Budget 2019.
Members of the public left angry at the complete lack of action on climate change in the budget have also been told to calm down before asking themselves why haven’t they become landlord TDs yet as it is the solution to all problems, even the catastrophic demise of the planet.
“This is a serious budget. For serious times. Put together by a serious government, doing serious work. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to up the rent on my 6 gaffs,” confirmed one Fine Gael TD who couldn’t contain his delight at backing a budget which delivered results for the entire country, no matter their circumstances and standing in Irish society.