AS TROUBLING reports continue to emerge from Dublin regarding residents attempting to queue for donuts, WWN has resolved to help guide people in a practice they were clearly unprepared for.
Consulting with the preeminent international experts in both queuing and donuts, WWN have been able to create this priceless and clearly much needed guide:
1) Don’t queue, it’s only a fucking donut
2) Lose your fucking mind
Content with your resolve to power through and queue for that donut. Okay, fine. Here we go: next step is to basically lose your mind.
3) Detach yourself completely from logic, common sense and good decision making
Don’t trouble yourself with the idea that maybe your time would spent better doing something else.
4) No, you’ve haven’t detached enough. Give it a proper go. Go on, really go for it!
Are you still thinking logical thoughts? Stop!
5) Beep your car horn for 17 hours
Sorry, did we not mention you were in a car. Yup, you drove to get donuts and now your stuck in your car for the next 17 hours.
6) Note the extremely long length of the queue. However, make the decision to stay in the queue and begin to moan incessantly about the fact you’re in a long queue
Ignore the part about how you did this voluntarily.
7) Did it again tomorrow