LAS VEGAS will take centre stage on Saturday the 6th of October as UFC 229 roars into life, in the mean time the world’s population of lads will have to contend with spouting a steady stream of uninformed nonsense as they shout over one another to proof which one is more clueless about the combat sport that is MMA.
Dublin’s darling Conor McGregor will face off against Khabib Very Long Second Name in a battle of different fighting styles, drawing ludicrous pronouncements from lads talking pure unrefined shite.
“Ground game, ground game, it’s all about the ground game,” one local UFC lad explained talking complete bollocks. However, he was drowned out by his friend, a fellow bullshit conducting unit, who shouted over him with “good luck to Khabib if he thinks he can stand toe to toe with McGregor”.
It’s not just here in Ireland where high volumes of shite is being uttered, as experts believe there has been as much as a 5000% increase in lads talking shite internationally.
“Despite knowing next nothing about the finer details of MMA, there has been a huge surge in lads just talking and talking and talking about their predictions for the fight even though they know as much about UFC as they do about how the universe was created,” explained Dr Hugo Horgan, of the Bolloxology Institute of Ireland.
Yesterday’s pre-fight press conference and McGregor’s decision to dress as Brad Pitt’s brother in Snatch has only helped to fuel amateur UFC strategy and psychological experts further expound on their 12 hour lectures of utter gibberish.
Innocent bystanders have been urged not to become drawn into conversations with lads intent of predicting that McGregor will defeat Khabib in the 2 round by doing an experimental elbow chokehold roundhouse fist kick.
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