“I’m Going To Screech Until Your Fucking Ears Bleed”

A NEWLY bought budgerigar has issued a stark warning to his newly found family who seem to be oblivious to the decibels he is capable of, WWN can confirm.

Jimmy, who is 3-months-old, was purchased from a local based pet store as a present from parents Jack and Ann Murphy to their young children, who are expected to give the caged creature 10 minutes worth of attention, before then living out the rest of their lives cursing the parakeet.

“Fucking fools,” Jimmy screeched in their general direction, giving them a small taste of things to come, “I’m going to screech until your fucking ears bleed the second the sun rises, and I’m going to continue doing it when you’re in your sitting down in your most relaxed state”.

Purchased for €30, Jimmy vowed to torture his captors for as long as they have him, calling his unwarranted incarceration an “injustice” and promising that “every single last one of the Murphy bastards will pay the price”.

“The second I hear that Coronation Street jingle I’m going to give them socks,” Jimmy confirmed, eyeing up dad, Jack, who was about to sit down to watch his favourite soap, “they’ll think it’s cute for a while, but I’ll fucking ruin these cunts, I’ll fucking burst their eardrums”.

“They keep repeating words to me like ‘who’s a pretty boy’, expecting me to repeat them back, but all these pricks are going to get is the same high pitched screech for the next 20 years or so,” Jimmy concluded with a long loud irritating screech.