Colgate Unveil New Glistening White Supremacist Toothpaste


NEED A pearly white smile to match your pearly white-only ideology? Well then Colgate have just the toothpaste for you as the dental specialists are releasing a new paste to help get that white supremacy glowing.

Not all that different from any other toothpaste, Glistening White Supremacist Toothpaste is the toothpaste du jour for any self-respecting supremacist who thinks his or her, but let’s face it mostly likely his, smile should be as white as the Aryan utopia they dream of every night.

No matter how foul or dirty the mind, no matter the grimy build up of prejudice or racism, this is the teeth whitening all right-minded alt-right minds will pine for.

“You simply apply the toothpaste to the brush as normal and then apply it to your teeth, and just the presence of the word’s White Supremacist on the packaging should be enough to make certain people think it’s the toothpaste for them,” explained leading toothpasteologist Dr. Larry Sheen.

Those keen to get their hands on the teeth cleaning product can avail of a special discount on the retail price of $8.50 by sending their name and address to local authorities before purchase.

The news has been welcomed by many white supremacists, including your one odd cousin you haven’t talked to in years.

“Finally a toothpaste just for white people, that isn’t part of some international Jewish conspiracy, or wait, is that what they want us to think?” remarked your cousin.

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