“Isn’t It Time We Forgave The Church?”

In his latest column, Bishop Cornelius Byle, WWN’s resident priest and conscience expert, poses the question ‘surely it’s time to forgive the Church in the matters of covering up child sexual abuse, disposing of babies in a septic tanks, selling children illegally to couples in America, condemning women to servitude and hard labour and a plethora of other things.

Good morning to all worshipers and welcome to my column. I must start off with an apology as in my last column I confirmed that I did in fact know a certain priest was raping children and I never reported it. Upon reflection and after a helpful discussion with Vatican lawyers, it turns out I have quite the little imagination on me and was mistaken – no one knew of this priest, not even the priests in the 6 other parishes he was moved to mysteriously, at short notice.

Now, onto the matter at hand which is an entirely different subject; isn’t it time we forgave the Church? C’mon now, snap out of that little moany mood you have been in. As Jesus himself taught ‘there’s a sell by date on being angry at child sexual abuse and its cover up so stop giving out’. It’s important to heed the words of Jesus at this time.

“Forgive the Church for what?” I hear you say and it’s true, when people think of the Catholic Church they only think of the great positives of it all, rarely having reason to divert their thoughts to the sinister, the criminal, the evil. However, it turns out some people think the Church might be to blame for a whole raft of things that the Church was solely responsible for.

Heavens! What next? Having to answer before the courts for obstructing justice, refusing to hand over evidence, witness intimidation and lying about protecting paedophiles?

The boss, Pope Francis released a lovely letter about how ‘the Church needs to do more’ in regards to historical child abuse, a full 70 years since we in the Church first knew there was a lot more to do. And 8 years since the last Pope said the same thing. But that’s that really, case closed. Amazingly benevolent from the Pope, and may I add it was quite big of him not to call abuse victims liars, when he had every right to in fairness.

Have abuse survivors called out the Church time and time again for their hideous attitude to justice? Yes, but the column is called ‘isn’t it time we forgave the church?’ not ‘the law actually applies to priests too’.

C’mon guys, we sort of forgive you for having abortions and being gay and about a million other things, the least you could do is forgive us for our minor transgressions?

Maybe I’m a little bias towards the Church but when you weigh up the good and the bad of the Church, and you buy a dodgy weighing scales, I think the good outweighs the systematic torture and rape of children, doesn’t it?

Now, please burn the contents of this electronic article immediately after reading it. Your bodily desires disgust me.