Adults Are Just Children In Bigger Bodies, Finds Report

A SHOCKING new report published by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has found that adult human beings are actually just children living inside bigger bodies, forcing scientists to rethink everything they knew about the nature on mankind.

Researchers at MIT studied over 10 thousand people over a period of 50 years, making this one of the world’s largest and longest running studies recorded into human behaviour.

“We’re all just a bunch of big clumsy kids,” lead researcher Dr. David Rickson explained, who is one of just a handful of scientists still alive who originally began the study in 1969.

“Since beginning our journey, we followed thousands of people from all over the world for five decades, from their birth to the present time, and in some cases, even death. What we found is truly remarkable; not one single subject showed any signs of ‘growing up’ in their 50 years on the planet. Basically, everybody is a child pretending to be an adult, something we believe has been developed over millennia by social trends, pop culture and various other outside influences, when really we’re exactly the same inside as when we were aged 10.

The study also found that acting how society perceives being an adult, actually ages people quicker, than just simply acting like a child all your life.

In response to the report’s findings, dozens of scientists across the world have since come out to criticize the study, refuting its conclusion.

“I know you are, but what am I?” debated Harvard human behavioural Professor Stephen Steinberg, before raising up both his palms and simultaneously placing his ring and middle fingers in a V shape, “if I am a child, then how come I can do this?”