Planet Venus Closest It’s Ever Been To Making The News

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ASTRONOMERS worldwide believe that the second planet from the sun, Venus, is the closest now it has ever been to actually making the news, WWN can confirm.

Up until now, Venus has remained relatively quiet and humble over the past 4 billion years, but scientists in the United States and several other countries believe this could be Venus’s year –  if it plays its cards right.

“Nowadays it’s all ‘blood moon this’, ‘Mars closest that’, poor old Venus never gets a look in,” explained one of NASA’s lead astronomers Professor Guy Golden.

“After extensive research on the planet’s coverage in the media, we estimate a decent news story about Venus is due in the coming months and hopefully paves the way for Venus to make it into the news at least twice a year,” added Golden, “it deserves all the attention it gets”.

Following in the footsteps of the moon, which regularly features in news articles throughout the year as a super, blood or black moon, Venus is already on track to be the next best celestial body.

“You’ve got the fact that it rotates in the opposite direction to other planets and is nearly exactly the same size as the earth, but a lot hotter at 462 °C,” Golden went on, hoping to find something newsworthy for this news publication to fall for.

However, SpaceTalk, a PR company who manages the moon have since rubbished Venus’s entry into the world’s press, stating that the Moon will never be overshadowed by it, or any other body.

“People see Venus at night and think it’s a silly star,” insisted a spokesperson for SpaceTalk, “maybe try getting hit by some comets or develop a red spot for itself before it starts flaunting itself around the news”.

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