Theresa May’s Meltdown Goes Into Meltdown

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BRITISH prime minister Theresa May’s meltdown has spiraled in the wake of the resignation of her incompetent and workshy Brexit minister David Davis, creating a rare ‘meltdown black hole’ according to experts in ‘complete fucking disasters’.

“It’s just such a shame, because it had all been going so swimmingly up until now,” one spokesperson for the PM shared while pulling out what remains of their hair.

May’s meltdown status had previously involved her flailing around helplessly while laughing in a way only people who are deeply uncomfortable laugh, the addition of her meltdown actually going into a meltdown itself is unprecedented, experts have confirmed.

“With Davis resigning, that means Theresa will have to scramble desperately to find someone as uniquely ill-suited to the job of negotiating Brexit, and when you look at the Tory MPs that could take all of 4 seconds,” one concerned meltdown aficionado explained to WWN of Dominic Raab’s appointment.

“Meltdowns are bad enough but when someone is fucking up so badly that their meltdown develops its own meltdown, there’s no telling how much more hilarious this can get,” added the expert.

Davis’s resignation represents the latest setback for May and her Brexit strategy, with the Tory leader having received more blows at this point than baby seals at the World Clubbing Championships.

“Her critics can laugh all they like but Theresa is going to make Brexit a success as promised,” her spokesperson added, completely unaware that the media could clearly see May in the background being restrained by her colleagues as she tried to set Article 51, which triggered Brexit, on fire.

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Posted by Waterford Whispers News on Tuesday, 23 October 2018
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