A NEW ruling by the Chinese takeaway dynasty has decreed that from now on, only one dish will be available to customers across the world whether they like it or not.
The controversial ruling means that Chinese aficionados will no longer be able to choose what they get delivered to their door by their local takeaway place, with all dishes now replaced by Char Siu pork with fried noodles, which has been declared as ‘perfect for all occasions and meals’ by a conglomerate of wealthy Chinese pork farmers.
Although many customers enjoy Char Siu pork and fried noodles and are perfectly happy to order it from their local on an ongoing basis, many have expressed concerns about what happens in a few years time when the quality of Char siu pork and fried noodles has slipped, or if they just become sick of it. These concerns that have been described as unpatriotic by Chinese restaurateurs.
“Char siu pork with fried noodles for life; anyone who speaks against it shall face the consequences,” said an angry statement from the president of the Char siu pork fan club in China.
“This food is best. This food is powerful. This food will provide nourishment, and cleanse the world of its wicked, evil ways, sending westerner after westerner running to the toilet with a roll of cold toilet paper. All hail Char Siu pork with fried noodles”.
Although many initially thought that restaurants in the US would raise concerns about Char Siu pork with fired noodles for life, it seems that the powers that be are perfectly happy about it, and have joked that they might sell nothing but hot dogs forever themselves if they got the chance.