A HUSHED silence gathered as large throngs of Corkonians crowded around Britain’s Prince Charles and his wife Not Diana, as they were given a guided tour of the birthplace of Cork’s chip on its shoulder.
“Its magnificence is clear,” Charles was heard to declare, much to the delight of locals, who always maintained Cork was the best place on earth, and no one had a better chip on their shoulder than the Rebel county.
There were some delays as the large crowd turned aggressive and demanded Charles acknowledge that the chip was indeed better than anything up in Dublin.
The chip, first birthed moments after tectonic plates shifted to create Cork at the dawn of Man, has sporadically and unpredictably grown in size over the years, but never receded at any point in human history.
“We barely have room for it at the minute, but what room is left is the best piece of land you’ve ever seen and I’ll thump anyone who says different,” local Cork historian Rory Folan said of the county’s chip, squaring up to Prince Charles in a way that was both informative and intimidating.
A member of Charles’ entourage queried why no surgical procedure has been carried out to remove the chip, however, he was pulled into the crowd and ripped limb from limb.
In a touching moment Camilla was then awarded honourary Beour status, complete with commemorative plaque. However, Charles was sad to learn he had somehow not reached Feen status.
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