Lovin’ Waterford: I’ve Sold My Share In This Bullshit Site, Kiss My Hole

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SORRY to interrupt your daily browse for fucking blaa recipes and reviews of city hotspots that you can’t possibly afford to ever eat at except for your birthday once a year as a treat, but I have some great news. For me. I’ve sold my share in this hellsite for more money than you plebs can ever dream about.

When a lot of editors and the like are moving on from a publication, they’ll usually write up a summary of how they poured their heart and soul into their work, and how they loved it so much and how great it is to see it become what it is today- LOLZ. Guys I can’t even.

When I started Lovin’ Waterford, I had one thing in mind- get it to the point where an investor would swoop in and offer me a duffel bag full of cash for my end of it.

To get it here, I had to make the site the most can’t-miss destination for all things Waterford. So I went out and hired the best journalists I could find and made sure to keep our content as original and factual and… lads, lads I can’t keep a straight face; I hired a bunch of minimum wage monkeys fresh out of college and paid them fuck all to copy and paste shit they found around the web, while I wrote the odd tirade about Waterford scumbags spoiling my panini by merely existing, and you fuckers just lapped it all up.

So thank you all, for making me one of the richest people in the city right now. I hope you all enjoy my last review. It’s of the taste of my arsehole, I hope you all enjoy kissing it while I find something to spend all this money on. Keep an eye out for my next venture, where I spend another three or four years calling you idiots to your faces before some other investor pays me another few million for that.

Later, morons!

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Posted by Waterford Whispers News on Tuesday, 23 October 2018
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