Government Recycle Bin Charges Into More Bin Charges

THE MINISTER for Environment Denis Naughten has confirmed a new proposed levy of €1 per ‘bin lift’ has been made possible by recycling other bin charges, previously put in place by waste management companies.

A complex process of collecting bin charges, before bringing them to a designated location for separation before they are fused together to form new extra bin charges has resulted in the environmentally friendly fee of €1 per bin lift.

“Bin charges are a one off, disposable thing which has a lasting effect on the environment, but by turning bin charges into something else we can harness and reshape them in a sort of recycling process, into more bin charges for the public, it’s a wonderful innovation it has to be said,” confirmed one Department of Environment spokesperson.

When pressed on the snail-like progress of the roll out of the national broadband scheme, which falls under the Minister Naughten’s responsibilities, the spokesperson immediately scaled a nearby wall and fled.

The move to introduce the bin lift charge, was first proposed by the Green Party, and would go a long way to doing something about the fact Ireland is among the worst offenders in the EU for plastic waste.

“Fuck the environment,” confirmed one member of the public who only wanted to hear solutions to environmental issues that didn’t impact on him or his bank balance in any way, shape or form.