IN A show of solidarity with the capitalistic nature of modern day Irish society, the entire city of Dublin has come together in unison to up the price of just about every commodity imaginable in celebration of several major concerts in the capital city.
Unhappy with its already extortionate prices for food, accommodation, travel and alcohol, Dublin once again allowed itself to increase its prices ahead of the tens of thousands of hardworking revellers who travelled to the city to see their favourite music acts.
“I took out a mortgage for this,” explained 34-year-old father, Francis Moron, who was bringing his two young daughters to see their favourite performer Ed Sheeran live in the Phoenix park, “this new financial commitment, along with my already spiralling debt will be worth it just to see their little faces light up when they see Ed sing. I just hope there is somewhere around here I can sell my car on the way home, as I can’t afford the petrol back to Clare tomorrow”.
With some hotels unashamedly quadrupling their room rates to “match the demand”, like it was an excuse, some Dublin city landlords emulated the move by also increasing their rents for the four day period of ongoing concerts.
“If they can do it, then why can’t we,” posed owner of 14 properties without any windows, Derek Kunt, “I’ve upped the rent on all my Dublin city tenants, just for those four days.
“These concerts are great altogether, Dublin should really think about running them every night of the week. Everyone would fucking clean up”.
Along with landlords and hoteliers, Dublin’s city taxi and rickshaw drivers have also quadrupled their prices, with a wrap of cocaine now selling for 500 euros.