A BEAMING Taoiseach was able to add yet another accolade to his growing list earlier this week when it was announced he was named as one of the most ‘influential global leaders under 40’ by the World Economic Forum.
Being included in the list capped off other recent appearances, including in a high profile list in Time Magazine, proving there is no stopping this one of a kind, visionary, charismatic, once in a generation, great political mind, student of humanity, taller than you’d think, just a normal guy really, politician.
However, the Irish public, angry at not being consulted by these awarding bodies has taken it upon itself to award the Taoiseach with a place on its ‘ineffectual leaders between the age of 0 and 90’ list, were eager to explain their reasoning.
“He can’t make any meaningful policy decisions because his party has just 25% of the public’s vote from the last election. He needs permission from Fianna Fáil for everything, and he’s regularly defeated on bills in the Dáil. There is no action, no progress. Now I understand you might want to sleep at some point over the next month, so should I continue listing off all the reasons?” explained one member of the public.
“The lying about social welfare claimants, the inability to count the number of new homes being built, no seriously, the fucking government hasn’t figured out how to do that, look it up. They’re trying to stop homeless figures being counted correctly by local authorities. Influence me hole…” the irate member of the public continued at length, forcing this correspondent to miss the first 4 years of his child’s life.
However, some supporters came to the Taoiseach’s defence.
“I earn a fair bit of money, got a mortgage there 8 years ago, I’m comfortable so I couldn’t give a fuck about any of this to be honest, he’s fine by me,” one voter enthused in their glowing review.
EDITOR’S NOTE: We are legally obliged to mention Leonidas Varadkar is a young, mixed-race and openly gay leader, which allows all of us to feel very modern and progressive altogether.
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