HSE Stripped Of Right To Call Itself A Health Service

AN INTERNATIONAL health body has stripped the HSE of its right to call itself a health service in the wake of the CervicalCheck scandal, WWN can reveal.

‘Health service’ a protected title like dietician, solicitor, barrister, or speech and language therapist, can only be used by individuals or entities that meet the required standards and qualifications. However, the International Health Accreditation Body (IHAB) has observed that the HSE has now fallen well short of these requirements and has therefore been stripped of the title.

The HSE, now just known as the E or ‘the Executive’, will see its management continue to slowly drip feed information under duress, with an occasional carefully administered apology from an individual who has recently consulted the terms of his contract with his solicitor to see what words he needs to avoid using so he doesn’t lose his bonus or pension.

“Of course there are so many frontline nurses, doctors and healthcare professionals who continue to deliver first rate care in ‘the E’, but we can only re-award ‘Health Service’ status when those in power stop trying to cover their asses and actually put patients first,” explained a IHAB spokesperson, who admitted the status should have been revoked a long time before the CervicalCheck scandal.

“Funnily enough, a health service is supposed to spend its time striving for the best standard of care for its patients, not using its legal team to try to fight victims or getting people to sign nondisclosure agreements so the public never learns of a scandal,” added the spokesperson.

Elsewhere, the Taoiseach and the Minister for Health have pledged to get to the bottom of the CervicalCheck scandal by continuing to dig a hole for themselves.