Nation Wants List Of People Being Fired By Fucking Midnight

“The list of fucking people responsible for this fucking heinous debacle needs to be on our fucking desk by midnight, as they need to be fucking fired immediately,” the Nation explained to the government, making it abundantly clear the usual mealy mouthed apology tour favoured by politicians and state bodies such as the HSE will not be accepted in relation to the CervicalCheck scandal.

With news that there are now another 1,500 cervical cancer cases which have not been audited, the Nation also added that inquiries which just delay information and answers by bogging things down in the gridlock of hearings for the next decade will not be tolerated either.

“The individuals at fault know who they are and they needn’t think they are delaying justice for these women a second longer by letting this all be dragged out of them in a lengthy inquiry. Those who know they’re culpable can save us some time and offer themselves up to be fired, and don’t think we won’t be standing right here waiting until they do,” a determined public added through its gritted teeth.

“And we’ll just presume the Gardaí have begun their investigation,” the Nation added, very matter of factly.

While the public has always made allowances for the frontline staff of a beleaguered health system ravaged by cuts, and held together by duct tape, the time for such sympathy is now officially over.

“If you’re telling us the people responsible don’t know full well what they’ve done, or the role they played in all this, then you can add your fucking names to the list as well,” the Nation pointedly told the government, who were also told a token scapegoat is no use this time, the whole ‘damn culture of apologies in exchange for bulky bonuses and pensions is long fucking over’.

The Nation, on a fucking roll now, pointed out the CerivcalCheck scandal which saw women remain unnotified of inaccurate tests which stated they did not have cancer, will not be solved by the government cynically positioning female TDs in front of the Taoiseach in the Dáil as he issues his apologies.

“Yeah, we see right through that fucking bullshit too. Names. By midnight. Or you’re out on your fucking ear too”.