HUNDREDS of thousands of news fans braved cold temperatures overnight to secure their tickets for what is expected to be the greatest and most intelligent live stage show of the world has ever seen.
Queues spanning up to four kilometers began building outside Ticketmaster outlets across the country from last week, with desperate fans setting up their camping gear in order to be first in line for tickets when they went on sale at 9am today.
“I had to quit my job in order to get my place in the queue,” one sensible man in his mid to late 20s explained, now wrapping his eyes with bandages, “Waterford Whispers News is the only thing I want to see live this year so I’m going to save my eyes until October 6th in Vicar Street”.
An estimated 670,786 people have so far bought tickets for the amazing show, with queues still causing traffic delays in most city centres across the excited nation.
“I’ve been queuing since last month,” said another teary eyed fan, who is obviously some kind of highly intelligent human being with great taste, “this show will probably change my life and my whole outlook on just about everything I hold dear to my heart. WWN is news”.
Ticket prices for the WWN live show are already changing hands for up to €1,000 each on ebay, with touts expected to make millions of euros on the second hand sale, with Aiken Promotions cautioning fans not to buy tickets via secondary sellers or any unofficial source..
“We have never seen anything like this,” said a spokesman for the promoters, who admitted to underestimating how big a deal Waterford Whispers News is in Ireland, “our only hope now is that we have enough cardboard material to print the tickets on as they are selling out like hot cakes. The whole country seems to be going to this”.
Tickets for the greatest show on earth ever can be bought by clicking HERE… if there’s any left.