WOW, how about that ending to Avengers: Infinity War, eh? We caught it at a special screening ahead of its release this week, so let’s have an in-depth conversation about every aspect of the epic conclusion to 10 years of Marvel mayhem, making sure to do so in a highly crowded area such as a bus or a communal area at work, anywhere that’s within earshot of as many people as possible.
It’s important to keep this conversation as spoiler-free as possible, so if you feel the need to discuss anything that people nearby might want to experience themselves when they eventually get to see the movie, be sure to be as vague as possible, or at least as vague as you can be, or at least as vague as you think they won’t pick up on because you don’t believe they have the ability to know what you mean when you say things like ‘let’s just say you’ll need tissues at the end’, or ‘let’s just say there might not be a standalone movie for [insert beloved superhero] anytime soon’, or ‘let’s just say there’s a surprise appearance by a man who may or may not be a bat, if you know what we mean’.
Bear in mind that there may be a lot of people who didn’t attend a 12 midnight screening on release day, and as such may need us to keep quiet for a little bit longer than 9am that morning but hey, we say that’s there problem, not ours. If they didn’t want to hear about how Spider-man turns out to be the Hulk’s brother, then why were they born with ears, eh?
But okay, sure, if the cry-babies out there want us to keep it down in the office when talking about Avengers, then we’ll keep it down. But we really feel we still need to discuss what we’ve seen, so we’ll just take to Twitter and post about it all day. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure to flag for spoilers on each post, so that people can’t complain that we didn’t give them any warning. Out post is ‘spoiler alert Pepper Potts is Thanos all along’, you should have stopped reading after spoiler alert. Now excuse us, we have memes to make with jokes that don’t make any sense unless you’ve seen the movie, themed around key plot points and developments that spoil every facet of the whole franchise.