“You Will All Pay, Every Last One Of You” O’Brien Yells At Map Of Ireland

STILL SMARTING from a bruising life which has left him with nothing but €4 billion plus in the bank and a vast media empire, sources close to vulnerable and helpless Denis O’Brien have confirmed he is currently sizing up a map of Ireland while muttering “you will pay, every last one of you” under his breath.

Hounded by Irish-based conspirators whose life missions seem to revolve around impugning his pristine reputation and good character, Mr. O’Brien has, according to people with knowledge on the matter, decided that the entire Nation must pay for the ceaseless tirades aimed at him.

“Well, he could just be a bit peeved off at a map of Ireland rather the inhabitants of the actual country of Ireland, but I get the sense since he’s been sitting there yelling at the map for the last 12 hours, it might be the country,” a source at least vaguely acquainted with the billionaire told WWN.

Another source adjacent to businessman O’Brien, who is engaged in so many legal disputes it would take hours of our time to count up the figure, has suggested the Irish public have little to fear.

“When he allegedly said you were going to pay, you’d want to be careful what you say about that, because if you’re not careful Denis will react to it in a calm, measured and reasonable way that will not involve an Irish court in any way,” the source said while sweating profusely.

Elsewhere, a new solicitor firm vying for the business of prominent and successful figures from the business world has unveiled a new ‘sue 99 people, get your next suing free’ introductory offer.