A GROUNDBREAKING new surgical procedure has successfully removed a large round gin glass from the hand of one Galway woman, allowing her to post selfies of something other than her with a pint of gin, tonic and ice in her hand.
Oranmore-born Connie Whelan had become hopelessly fused to the glass over the last year, resulting in every photo of her across her social media platforms looking almost exactly the same.
With the glass usually full of needlessly expensive gin, needlessly expensive tonic, needlessly expensive ice and a curl of lime peel which was somehow more expensive per ounce than platinum, Whelan was forced to bring the glass with her to birthday parties, work nights out, 21sts, weddings and christenings, until doctors managed to free her from her affliction.
“We made a series of incisions around the skin where it met the glass” said Dr. Raymond Keane, surgical expert and part-time gin drinker.
“And from there we were able to minimise damage to the hand, while removing the glass intact. It was tricky, and took several hours… she literally fused to the damn thing. Just check out her Instagram if you don’t believe me. Every picture, she’s putting on a brave face, but the glass is there always. She even has up to 230 pictures of her trying to enjoy a night in watching TV with her dog, and there’s the massive glass of gin front and center. Poor soul, it must have been hell”.
Whelan is said to be recovering after her operation, and has vowed to stick to shots in future as the glass is much more discreet if it gets stuck to her hand again.