THE HOUSING CRISIS is over!
A momentous day in Irish life, born out of one man’s genius as Minister for Housing, Eoghan Muprhy, suggested Ireland look to building affordable high rise apartments as a solution to a lack of housing units.
“Ugh, we just feel so stupid not thinking of something like that ourselves,” chimed the Nation, absolutely kicking itself for not having the same singular vision and ever-expanding wisdom of one government minister.
“So hang on, just so we’re getting this, ‘cus we’re a bit thick. There’s not enough homes being built, and what he’s saying is, we should build more? And when we’re doing that we should think about building apartments and make them affordable to build and subsequently buy? Fuck hang on, we’ll need to see this written down to get it. It’s a lot to take in,” added the public, marveling at what had just been achieved by Minister Murphy and the government, who don’t get enough credit sometimes.
Previously the debate and discussion around housing in Ireland was limited to expert groups and members of public suggesting everyone sleep on the Nation’s couch in the spare room. Such well meaning solutions however, were hampered by the fact the one couch was marginally too small to fit all the thousands of people on housing waiting lists, the homeless and first time buyers.
The Nation, still reeling from what Minister Murphy had achieved in solving the housing crisis, made the humble suggestion that all high rise apartments should be too small, be poorly built and though named ‘affordable’ should be massively over-priced.