Investigation Launched After Woman Reveals She Doesn’t Mix Maltesers & Popcorn

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A LOCAL Waterford cinema foyer has been cordoned off by a group of friends after they launched an investigation upon learning 24-year-old Shannon Sheehan doesn’t mix her Maltesers in with her popcorn, WWN can confirm.

Refusing to permit anyone entry into screen 4 of the OmniTron Cinemaplex Movie Film House until the case is solved, friends of Sheehan sought answers to this curious case which has left everyone distraught and shocked.

“So hang on, what do you mean you eat them ‘separately’?” queried one of Sheehan’s friends, who demanded answers in between loud trailers for a number of upcoming blockbusters.

The time honoured tradition of infusing Maltesers and popcorn was first invented by Irish man Bill O’Byrne, winning him a Nobel Prize, and has been enjoyed by all cinema goers, that is until Sheehan made her Earth-shattering admission.

Despite explaining herself dozens of times, each excuse for not mixing the delicious snacks to form an unrivaled super-snack was met with tuts and gasps as Sheehan’s friends couldn’t comprehend how she had kept this horrible secret for so long.

“But it’s Maltesers! And then you mix them with popcorn! And then you’re transported to a magical realm where your taste buds live out their dreams. What’s wrong with you sicko?” screamed one friend who had to be restrained from attempting to mix Sheehan’s popcorn and Maltesers together.

Each distraught friend then took turns encouraging Sheehan to try the once highly experimental mix of flavours, foodstuffs and textures, shoveling handfuls of the snacks into their mouths while loudly proclaiming ‘yum’ in a way they mistakenly believed was in no way creepy.

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