AN EMERGENCY stationery order has been placed by the staff at the White House, after it was revealed that current former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was unable to clear out his desk due to a lack of those big brown boxes that you see people with in movies after they’ve been fired.
Tillerson was axed from the administration this morning following President Trump’s decision to replace him with someone less likely to bring Russia’s involvement with a nerve agent attack in the UK into disrepute, after Tillerson failed to tow the White House line that anything Vlad wants to do is probably justified and 100% okay with the US.
The ousted Secretary graciously accepted his fate after learning of it on Twitter at the same time as the rest of the world, but was upset after finding out that he didn’t have a cardboard box to put his stuff in as he walked out, after the White House supply had been exhausted by Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, Sean Spicer, Katie Walsh, Preet Bharara, Sally Yates, Michael Flynn, James Comey, Walter Shaub, Michael Dubke, Anthony Scaramucci, Sebastian Gorka, Tom Price, Omarosa Manigault, Andrew McCabe, Brenda Fitzgerald, Rob Porter, Hope Hicks, and Gary Cohn when they were removed from Trump’s team over his first 12 month.
“Yeah, just send all the boxes you have,” said a White House aide, ringing Office Depot.
“We’ve got an FBI investigation coming up, so we’re going to need plenty of boxes. Don’t second guess us and say, ‘oh, they won’t need that many boxes’. Send them all. Send all the boxes”.
CIA director Mike Pompeo has been appointed as the new Secretary of State, but has been advised not to bring anything too big from home to the office, to save hassle in the near future.