THE vast majority of the world’s 7.6 billion population sighed in a dejected manner after learning US leader Donald Trump plans to meet his equal, and North Korean counterpart, Kim Jong-Un.
“Honestly, I’d like to see anyone find fault with this plan. How could letting that fat, ignorant hate-filled monstrosity of an authoritarian meet with Kim Jong Un. How could it possibly backfire? Especially when he’s proven time and time again how he gets on with everyone, and take criticism well,” remarked the world, as it began to make a list of things it wanted to do before it was reduced to rubble.
The news of the planned meeting sparked White House staff into action, promptly gathering fact sheets on North Korea for Trump relating to how it is different to South, West and East Korea. Elsewhere, experts on North Korean politics caused further panic by implying the leaders could bond over their mutual love of hatred and their awful haircuts.
Preparations for a potential meeting are well under way as leaked documents seen by WWN show reports written up by North Korean and America officials informing their respective leaders “don’t worry, this guy’s an idiot”.
“Who knows what Donald Trump could turn up to that meeting? The one who has no problem with white supremacists or the real leader we all know and trust with delicate matters of nuclear disarmament; the idiot who knows fucking nothing,” the world remarked, in a hopeful tone.
“And with Jong Un, is it the dictator who starves and murders his people? Or the one that clearly has no intention of disarming, whatever happens, this meeting can’t possibly make things worse,” added the world in what WWN believes was a sarcastic tone.