‘Woman Has Sex With Fish Man’ Wins Best Picture At Oscars


THE ENCHANTING tale, directed by Guillermo Del Toro, won several awards last night as Oscar voters connected to a story of how a woman totally has sex with a fish man.

Filled to the gills with allusions to cross-species, fish-fucking, ‘Woman Has Sex With Fish Man’ beat out other contenders for Best Picture such as Get Out, Call Me By Your Name and Lady Bird that dealt with different but equally worthy themes.

“It’s the best film I’ve seen about a fish man totally going to town on a woman with his weird fish genitalia this year, I can say that with some certainty,” confirmed one Oscar Academy voter, thrilled to see the film triumph at the film industry’s biggest night of the year while Meryl Streep was overheard at an Oscar after party remarking that ‘fish-fucking films are my jam’.

In a night of firsts, which also saw Jordan Peele become the first black person to win Best Original Screenplay, ‘Woman Has Sex With Fish Man’ became the first movie centred around going to funky town with a fish man to be nominated for 13 Oscars.

“This award is for those who doubted me when I said people would pay money to see a movie about a lady boinking a fish, thank you,” director Guillermo Del Toro said in his acceptance speech for Best Director, bringing the total awards ‘Woman Has Sex With Fish Man’ won on the night to 4.

Industry experts have not ruled out a flurry of new films being greenlit by Hollywood studios which deal with amorous amphibious/human humping after the awards success of ‘Woman Has Sex With Fish Man’.

Elsewhere equality campaigners descended on social media to criticise the award for Best Actress being awarded to a woman for the 90th year in a row.

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