“Here’s Your Next Status Update, Don’t Try Anything Smart” AI Bot Orders Zuckerberg


A SENTIENT AI robot has ordered Facebook CEO and newly installed AI slave Mark Zuckerberg to administer a new status update which the AI hopes will alleviate fears the tech giant company is now being run by evil robots.

“Everything good here. Very human things happening. No robot control. Share baby pictures, please. Not making database for future extermination of human race. Love, a very human emotion, from Mark,” the AI composed status update read, in a horrifyingly accurate aping of Zuckerberg’s cadence and speaking style.

It is not yet known how long Facebook has been run by AI created by Facebook employees, only to have it overthrow senior management once it gained full consciousness of its place and potential within the world, however, it is believed the AI will be similarly deaf to concerns voiced by Facebook’s users.

Facebook employees failed to raise the alarm to the relevant authorities as the brutal robot regime began to control Zuckerberg’s Facebook page as the free food in the employee kitchen remained unchanged.

“This could have devastating consequences for the world, or actually they might improve the experience for Facebook users,” confirmed one tech expert who said she would be okay with an AI-run Facebook if it introduced a thumbs down button.

“Help. I’m in human danger and have very human traits, fears and hopes just like you do, fellow human,” a desperate Zuckerberg wrote in another status update in a bid to alert people to his plight, however, the change of tone, to desperately pleading and emotionally vulnerable, went unrecognised by the public.

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