Fucking Banklink Only Gives Fifties

WATERFORD residents down to the last 30 euro in their accounts before payday have been warned that the banklink on Meagher’s Quay only has 50 euro notes, and is liable to catch you out when you badly need to withdraw a twenty.

Locals were first made aware of the ‘withdrawals in multiples of 50 euro only’ predicament after hearing the anguished sobs of foiled revellers last night, who discovered all too late that they were not able to get their last twenty quid out for chips while on their way out of the pubs in town.

With not even a shop open to allow them to get a pack of chewing gum and 10 euro cashback, dozens of Waterford pissheads were forced to do without a kebab and no option but to mournfully walk home, with not one taxi in the city having a ‘pay by laser’ option.

“There should be a law that states that the closer we get to payday, the lower the denomination of notes in ATMs” said Cllr. Luke Kernahan, who found himself walking home after a mad one last night.

“First week after payday, have all the fifties you want. Week two and three, then you really need 20 euro notes and even tenners, tops. That last week before your next paycheque comes in? That’s when ATMs want to start dropping spare change into a little cup like at the self service checkout, so if all you have to your name is €7.80, you can get it out”.

The matter is to be discussed at this week’s council meeting, as well as the matter of shops that won’t give you cash back on purchases of less than 5 euro, useless if all you have is €3.75.