JULY 28TH, 1942. Joseph Stalin issues ‘Order number. 227’, a military decision that declared that his forces would take ‘not one more step back’ from the advancing Nazi army that had swept east out of Germany into the heart of Russia. By August, the Germans had reached the city where the Red army were to make their finest, bloodiest stand. By February of the following year, over a million Russian troops would have given their lives… but their courage and fortitude would have ensured that the axis forces had been dealt one of the most crippling blows of the entire conflict, heralding the end of WW2 itself. Now, who wants pancakes?
This Pancake Tuesday, you don’t have to stress and fuss over complicated gourmet recipes that require hours of prep- you can make simple, delicious pancakes that the whole family will love by following our simple recipe. There are three main ingredients to pancakes: eggs, milk, and flour. We like to throw in a pinch of baking soda too, to help them rise, if you prefer a flatter, heavier pancake, then you can do without this. Now, just follow these simple steps…
Just like the Russian forces who held off the advances of the Nazi forces, then considered the most unstoppable military force in the history of the world, making pancakes is all about proportions. We’ll make it really simple, with our one-one-one rule. One cup of milk, one cup of flour, one egg. That’s it. Stick with those proportions (throwing in one pinch of baking soda, if you like), and you literally cannot go wrong, unlike Hitler, who overestimated the abilities of his soldiers following relatively easy advances in Europe while deciding to advance into the icy climate of Russia.
The battle of Stalingrad may have only lasted for 6 months, but the sheer scale of the carnage that raged non-stop throughout that time has left it with the dubious honour of being one of the most bloody conflicts in the history of Mankind. Losses on both sides piled up into ungodly numbers, with both armies sending wave after wave of young men to die in their droves. It was sheer numbers that swayed the battle in favour of the reds, although not in terms of the number of soldiers that they had to fight. No, it was the sheer number of soldiers that they were prepared to lose that helped them win out over the thinly-stretched Germans… the wave after wave of terrified young patriots that Russian generals allowed to pile up on the battlefield, stubbornly refusing to back down by even a single yard until victory was attained. With that in mind, mix the pancake ingredients with a whisk (or a fork, if you have no whisk) and allow the mixture to stand while you warm up your pan. You can use butter to oil up your pan and prevent the mixture from sticking, but a spray of frylite offers a lower-calorie alternative.
Pour a thin layer of mixture into the hot pan, and keep an eye out for the edges as these will be the first to rise, indicating that it may be time to flip the pancake. When you flip your pancake (and we recommend using a spatula. No showing off!), please remember that the second side will take a lot less time to cook than the first, so be vigilant or you will burn your pancake! Sometimes, we can’t help but picture the faces of those poor, terrified soldiers, shipped in from all over Russia. For many, this was the first time they had ever left their native villages, to be brought with minimal training to a ruined city, have a rifle thrust in their hands and sent out to die in the bitter cold over a military decision they couldn’t possibly have understood. Deserters were shot by the thousand. It was quite literally a hell on earth.
Your pancakes are ready to go! Garnish with a condiment of your choice (we’re partial to Nutella and bananas!).