IN a closely fought election with her cousin and political rival Chicago West, Stormi Webster becomes only the third member of the Kardashian/Jenner dynasty to hold the office of the president. Her victory sparked wild celebrations as many feel the 38-year-old’s election will go a long way to heal the rift of the country’s 12th Civil War, which ended just 5 years ago.
Campaigning on a platform which transcended the traditional politics of the mid 2050s, Stormi confirmed her America would be an America for all people, including recent refugees from Mars, where long reigning tyrant Elon Musk remains accused of heinous interplanetary war crimes.
This is the first election which required citizens to have an active account on the social media network iKarJen, started by the President’s mother and aunts in the late 2030s, a network which allows users to judge people on how beautiful they are as well as judging them for judging other people judging other people.
Despite the election win, many people fear the role hacking by foreign powers may have played in the victory. This is only the second election to allow voters upload their vote from their brain directly to the cloud, and it is believed many people’s brains could have been compromised by the Russians.
“We’re sick of the accusations, we have nothing to do with this,” still Russian President Vladimir Putin confirmed, before asking how many times does he have to apologise for Donald Trump until America finally forgives him.
Stormi’s victory is all the more remarkable after accusations of ‘being out of touch with the youth of today’ were leveled at her after she become the first candidate in the post-12th Civil War era not to have a Fametalia site.
Fametalia, the app which allows users to pay Trumpcoin to have sex with famous people in VR by receiving a mold of their genitalia via Amazon drone delivery, remains hugely popular with young voters.
“I will be a president to all people, even the white working class, who are still pissed off,” Stormi said in her first presidential address uploaded directly to the Chinese colony’s hivemind.
President Stormi, an intersectional feminist and oil magnate, is also co-birthing a child with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s youngest child, ‘\*~’.