INNOCENT rugby fans supporting two of Ireland’s premier fee-paying schools were attending a schools rugby match when brazen heavily-accented soccer fans infiltrated their group and began to hooliganise the situation, distraught rugby experts have confirmed.
“Adult men supporting the schools attended by proper people with proper accents were minding their own business when out of nowhere soccer fans starting posing as rugby fans and began throwing punches at one another. It’s disgraceful that they would seek to drag the good name of our sport down,” confirmed one junior Senior Cup correspondent for a leading paper.
The hooliganisation of the situation was made possible by the presence of people with tattoos and no formal education exceeding Junior Cert level, prompting many to question if the innocent game of rugby should sue soccer fans for attempting to besmirch the honourable sport of rugby.
Confusion as to how the soccer fans came to be in the area continues as the nearest Wetherspoons is several kilometres away.
“When a sport that hits the headlines for drug cheats, ongoing rape trials, concussion issues and eye-gouging is dragged through the mud by neanderthal soccer fans, you have to ask, is executing these soccer savages going far enough?” added a visibly upset rugby fan who had bruised his knuckles in an unrelated incident.
Despite science conclusively proving rugby to be a hooligans game played by gentlemen, and soccer to be a game played by murderous brain deficient criminals, some may wrongly point to video evidence of the incident and remark that it clearly shows upstanding young rugby men being idiotic savages.
“If it ever came close to having to admit this is anything other than just a polite dust up between friends, then obviously we’d have to concede this is just some good lads letting off some steam, nothing to see here, move on,” added a senior Senior Cup correspondent for a leading paper.
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