ALTHOUGH a mix-up in communications has lead to Donald Trump missing out on attending the World Economic Forum in Davos for a sit-down meeting with Galactic megalomaniac Davros, sources close to the POTUS have stated that the meeting was ‘very productive’ and that the Daleks are ‘very fine people indeed’.
While 70 world leaders and thousands of delegates traveled to Switzerland for a week of seminars and talks on a range of world issues, Trump took Air Force 5000 to the planet of Skaro in the seventh galaxy, where he had a chat with the grotesquely scarred and utterly demonic galactic despot Davros, where they chatted about subjects such as golf, and the extermination of the entire human race.
Davros, also known as the Emperor Dalek or the Dark Lord of Skaro, was said to be ‘somewhat put off’ by the repellent company of Trump, but powered through in a bid to garner support for his ‘Make Earth A Fiery Hell Again’ campaign.
“Why go to Davos and listen to a bunch of bitching and moaning when you can go and make some real deals?” tweeted Trump, on his way back to Earth carrying a gift from the Dalek homeworld that may or may not be a giant bomb.
“And those Skaro women, my God, they know how to show a president a good time. For the first time since taking office, I feel like I’ve really done something good and presidential. I flew in, banged a load of half-machine, half-women things, then agreed a blood-truce to sell 100% of the Earth’s water to an alien overlord in exchange for a place in his throne room when the great purge occurs. Overall, a success!”.
UPDATE: following the invasion of Earth and the annihilation of 97% of the population, Trump has issued a new statement in which he claims “‘Davros the dickhead’ has absolutely no power in the galaxy, and anything that suggests otherwise is fake news”.