A LOCAL Dublin woman has found herself compulsively clicking on articles relating to Meghan Markle regardless of how inane they are or how insulting it is to her otherwise considerable intelligence.
With an innate and enviable grasp of critical thinking and logical reasoning, 27-year-old Emma Crossin has returned to website after website to click on article after article which posit they have something of interest to share with her about a woman she had no interest in whatsoever until very recently.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up, I know, I know, okay just leave me be,” Crossin shouted at the part of her brain which told her she was better than this, and that perhaps her time would be better spent not rewarding piss poor excuses for journalism by clicking on an article about that one time Meghan Markle tweeted about Dublin.
Previously, Crossin had for the most part rejected all risible Royal family related online content which only served to gravely insult the intelligence of anyone with an IQ that soared above a single digit, including the person tasked with writing it in the first place.
The 27-year-old biologist then attempted to use her brain power to make a compelling argument for why clicking on another 5 articles about Markle on the Mail Online was justifiable.
“Jesus, I’m not murdering anyone, this is hardly worse than obsessing over football transfer gossip or whatever,” Crossin said, failing to fully convince herself.
Crossin’s eyes then lit up when she saw yet another headline featuring Markle that claimed Markle’s aunt was once abducted by aliens.
“Why am I like this,” Crossin asked herself before dedicating the next 5 minutes to reading every word of the article.