“Oh, They Won’t Be Long Giving Him Back!” Insists Parents Of Abducted Child

THE Parents of a missing child believed to have been abducted earlier today have insisted that his captors won’t be long giving him back, due to his exhausting behaviour.

Geraldine and Thomas Moore reported their son Daniel (6) missing at 2pm today shortly after eyewitnesses spotted the him being bundled into a white Hiace van by two men in their mid to late 30s, just meters away from the family home.

“Oh, they won’t be long giving him back, let me tell you,” the boy’s father said during a live television appeal, before then looking at his watch, “it’s four hours since his disappearance; he’ll have them driven up the wall at this stage… the poor bastards have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into”.

The Moore’s explained that their son, the youngest of three, is gifted at “tormenting people”, and advised his abductors to just hand him back now for their own sanity.

“He’ll find some way of driving them mad,” insisted Geraldine Moore, giggling at the thoughts, “once Danny starts asking them stupid questions, that will be the end of it; they’ll hand themselves in.

“He’s a gas young fella, God love him, you’d want the patience of a Saint”.

Gardaí have asked anyone in the Finglas area who may have seen two men driving a 09-D van this afternoon to contact Store Street Garda station with any information.

Daniel Moore is said to be blonde, 3 feet 1 inch tall, and was last seen wearing a blue Ben 10 T-shirt and blue stonewashed denim jeans. Daniel’s parents insisted to “just ignore his carry on” if found, and to hand him over to the Gardai immediately, as he can ‘wreck the bulb at times’.