Council Worker Never Gets Turn On The Little Digger

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FRESH reports have confirmed that local council worker, Mark Shevlin, is ‘this close’ to complaining to his foreman about how he always gets stuck on ‘Stop/Go’ duty, and never gets a turn on the little Hi-Mac digger thing instead.

Now on his fourth year with Waterford County Council, Shevlin spoke exclusively to WWN about ‘having an arsefull’ with his job, due to being constantly relegated to lollipop work while the rest of his team of workmates get to do all the ‘cool shit’, like drive miniature plant equipment and sit in the van all day reading The Sun.

Shevlin, 33, is otherwise happy with the pay and conditions that he receives for his efforts, but stressed that if he gets put on traffic control one more time, there’s a very real chance that he’ll ‘loose his shit’.

“There’s Keith on the Bobcat again – that’s his fifth go this month,” griped Shevlin, deliberately letting a queue of traffic sit there for 90 seconds longer than necessary out of pure spite.

“I never get a go, it’s not fair. Let one of those bastards come out here and spin this bitch of a thing for a change, and let me into the cab of that digger where it’s nice and warm.

“And don’t start on about that under-qualified shite, we’re not actually digging anything, we just kinda paw at the road for a day and then piss off”.

UPDATE: Shevlin has absconded in a miniature backhoe, and is said to be making his way through Waterford city centre at speeds of up to 8 kmp/h.

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