DESPITE clearly stating on several occasions to her mother that she had no other news to impart regarding her life in Vancouver, Waterford woman Claire Lanney was facing into her 4th hour of excruciatingly sparse conversation on Skype.
“No, Mam, no other news really, I’ve told you everything,” Claire explained to her mother, Angela, as the 27-year-old tried to find the perfect gap in conversation which would allow her to introduce the possibility that now would be as good a time as any to end the call. However, the qualified nurse would be forced to repeat the process with her father, younger brother and family cat.
“I’m not complaining like, I love chatting to her, but we’re on the 19th round of ‘your uncle is getting to look very old these days, did I tell you that?’ and I genuinely have no other news,” Claire explained to WWN.
“I have so little news that I sort of just free styled 20 minutes of talking about how I should get more news, and that I wish there was a shop where I could buy more news, like a newsagents but only for my own real social life. Mam, thought that was gas, the woman can’t take a hint,” added Claire, exhausted by not having any other news.
Angela, 62, had spent the previous 4 hours, circling around the same subjects, news bites, and factoids in a bid to keep her daughter, who would be home in a few weeks for the Christmas anyway, on Skype for as along as was humanly possible.
“Are you sure you’re not forgetting anything? I’d hate for you to hang up, remember you had some news, and have to ring me back, you know I’m not fond of the Skype,” Angela shared with daughter.
Claire, citing completely made up internet connection problems, brought the 4 hour and 23 minute conversation to an end by pretending to frozen on the screen while mimicking stalled and jumpy speech.