Property Porn: Can You Reach The End of This Article Without Cumming?

HI there.

All over Ireland, sexy property is waiting to get YOU off.

What’s your kink?

Do you like the sexy stuff, like soaring prices and short supply?

Or do you like it hard; the thoughts of how hard it might be to ever own a house of your own?

Either way, we’ve got the property porn to make you come all over the floor of the flat you’re renting while you try to scrape up a deposit.

Just try to get to the end of this list without shuddering in sexual agony…

1) Just over 15,000 new homes have been sold since 2015. Experts say that this number barely scratches the surface of what’s required to satisfy demand. But maybe it might satisfy you.

2) It’s not just sexy private owners buying up houses. One in eight is being sold to a sexy outside investor. Mmmmm… more rental properties. Filthy.

3) do you like it slow, or fast? We’ve got just the property bubble for you. House prices are rising in Dublin and the surrounding areas reaaaaal fast. But they’re rising in the rest of Ireland reaaaaal slow. Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. Slow… then fast… slow… then really, really, really fast…

4) Some 7,000 housing units completed since 2015 have yet to make it to market… they’re holding off…. holding off to make you so hard for them… holding off until the price of property reaches a level where developers are happy with their profit level… here they come… they’re going to fuck you… they’re going to fuck you so hard because YOU DESERVE IT YOU PIECE OF FILTH!